Dirty/Dulcet Radio 12/14/11

A mostly reggae show this week.

Download here

Set List:
1) Vexual Healing (Vacillation) - Prince Paul
2) Worries In The Dance - Frankie Paul
3) 5 Days A Week Love - Sir Victor Uwaifo & His Titibitis
4) Brand New Second Hand - Peter Tosh
5) Trouble You A Trouble Me - Ini Kamoze
6) Satisfied? - J-Live
7) Fite Dem Back - Linton Kwesi Johnson
8) Friday Night Saturday Morning - The Specials
9) Married Girl - The Slackers
10) Licking Stick - Desmond Decker
11) Unfinished Melody - Augustus Pablo
12) Get Ready - Burning Spear
13) The Man From Lafonda (Remix) - MC Paul Barman
14) Alone - Resident Alien
15) Tom Drunk - Hopeton Lewis and U Roy
16) Can I Change My Mind? - Alton Ellis
17) Can I Change My Mind? - Tyrone Davis
18) Keeping On Dancing (Instrumental) - Alvin Cash Scott Bros Orchestra
19) The Battle of Ron LaPierre - The Heat Whispers
20) Choking Game - Preston Spurlock

Ugly Renaissance Babies

Pretty good tumblr right here folks:
http://uglyrenaissancebabies.tumblr.com/

From the first page alone:

"Garbage Pail Christ"

"Our holy mother of Nicholas Cage"

"Bitch please. I will make you turn the other cheek!"

Dirty Dulcet Radio 11/23/11

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Download here.

Set List:
1) Strange Roads - The Action
2) Prelude to Fire - Toby Goodshank
3) Ghost in the Sky - Sparklehorse
4) What You Meant - Franz Ferdinand
5) No Other One - Weezer
6) Flying Birds - The RZA
7) Behind Bars (Prince Paul Orig. Mix) - Slick Rick
8) Rapp Snitch Knishes - MF Doom ft. Mr. Fantastik
9) Nature of the Threat - Ras Kass
10) Run to the Hills - Iron Maiden
11) The Parasite (For Buffy) - Eugene McDaniels
12) Cars - The Katzenjammers
13) Sissy Strut - Trinidad Steel Band
14) Soul Boulders 2 (snippets) - Matthew Africa & DJ B.Cause
15) Romeo y Julieta - Rabbits & Carrots

Halloween Music

First Gravediggaz song ever recorded. Just released by Prince Paul!!!
The house that hatred built ( Unreleased Gravediggaz demo 92 ) by DJ Prince Paul

Screamin' Jay Hawkins - Monkberry Moon Delight


Thelonious Monk - Friday the 13th


Scientist - The Mummy's Shroud


Whodini - Haunted House of Rock


Damon Albarn & Michael Nyman - The Cave (From Ravenous OST)


The Dead Milkmen - The Thing That Only Eats Hippies

I was young and innocent enough when this aired that this gag was the most graphic thing I'd ever seen on TV. It was the start of a great relationship with TV and movies desensitizing me to horrific violence. Happy Halloween everybody.

Dirty Dulcet Radio 10/19/11

New Toby Goodshank album released yesterday! Check it out here.

Download this week's show here

Set List:
1) Scratchy - Travis Wammack
2) What Can A Man Do - Gino Washington
3) Nobody Can Live Forever - Tim Maia
4) Legend In My Own Mind - The Stepkids
5) Good Song - Blur
6) See The Light - Sparklehorse
7) Wedding Bells - Toby Goodshank
8) Baby I Feel Like I Just Got Cut In Half - Toby Goodshank
9) Life's A Gas - T. Rex
10) Love (Can Make You Happy) - Mercy
11) I Found a Reason - The Velvet Underground
12) Every Day I Love - Squarepusher
13) Avril 14th - Aphex Twin
14) The Financial Crisis Song - Open Mike Eagle (shout out to palejoe, willis, and everybody occupying across the nation!)
15) A B-Boys Alpha - Cannibal Ox
16) Figaro (Stones Throw 101 Remix) - Madvillain
17) Got What It Takes - J-Live
18) Flowers (Original Version) - Ghostface Killah ft. Raekwon, Method Man & Superb
19) Fish - Ghostface Killah ft. Cappadona & Raekwon
20) Banana Leaf - Shonen Knife

Best Ira Glass impersonation

"coming from someone who likes to impersonate Ira Glass" - Blaze

via

Help .357 Lover master and release their new album!

.357 Lover, who I wrote about previously in this post, just made a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the mastering, artwork and design for their new record, The Purchase of the North Pole.

By donating only $25 you get a signed copy of the album on vinyl, as well as a digital download.

From the band:
"This is the first .357 Lover album to be listened to on vinyl record. We've finished the recording and we're very proud of it. The next step is mastering, which will be done for vinyl from quarter-inch tape. At this point, we've run out of money. What we plan to do next in addition to mastering, is making the packaging more than just a container for the record. In addition to the cover art, there will be a board game that will reference the songs on the album through a journey of time travel. It will be playable, although just looking at it may suffice in enjoyment. The title, The Purchase of the North Pole, is based on the Jules Verne novel of the same name. The goal of the game is to reach Danzig in the year 2050 in order to prevent an explosion that will tilt the earth's axis from the poles to the equator. The traveler will follow an alternate line of time, hitting a 70's American circus, the house of a werewolf in the year 1906, a Rush show in the year 1986, the Columbian Expo in the year 1893 and a mall in north Texas in the year 1995. There is more that awaits the traveler and the dice will admit him to the next level and the next, the last being the preventing the destruction of the earth's current poles. This album is inspired by the art of 20th Century science fiction magazine covers, the movies of Sergio Leone, the American circus, 19th Century mechanics and girls. There was a lot of passionate arguing and a lot of personal and collective triumphs. We really want to see this record become what we've envisioned."

Ricky learns that God and Santa Claus are not the same

George Carlin on the 10 Commandments

Dirty Dulcet Radio 10/5/11

I once again had problems recording my radio show last night, so screw it, I'll upload the songs anyway. No radio improvisation, but I'll do my best to recreate it w/ commentary below.

Download here.

Set List:
1) Curtis Mayfield - Right on for the Darkness
2) David Batiste & The Gladiators - Funky Soul Pt. 1
3) Salt - Hung Up
4) Pamoja - Ooh Baby
5) Lee Fields ft. The Expressions - Honey Dove
6) The Clipse - Mr. Me Too (Z.A.K. Remix)
7) De La Soul - Itzoweezee (HOT)
8) The Stepkids - Cup Half Full
9) Wu-Tang Clan - Hellz Wind Staff
10) Anti-Pop Consortium - Dead in Motion
11) Mr. Lif ft. Insight - Iron Helix
12) Mr. Lif - Earthcrusher
13) Mr. Lif ft. El-P, Jean Grae & Akrobatik - Post Mortem
14) Josef Vobruba se svym Orchestrem - Preludium Cis Moll
15) Elias Rahbani - Dance of Maria
16) Troupe Majidi - Essiniya (Nass El Ghiwane)
17) Blackbyrds - Wilford's Gone
18) Lee Hazlewood - It's Nothing to Me

First off, The Stepkids released their debut album last Tuesday, and it is very good. Here's their most recent music video, featuring a cameo from The Daily Show's Wyatt Cenac!

On the show I played my favorite song off the album, Cup Half Full. The album can be purchased online at www.stonesthrow.com, and also ordered in to CD Alley.

The 3 Mr. Lif songs I played form a triptych that closes out his near-perfect album, I Phantom.

(From the liner notes) "Iron Helix is a synopsis of colonization in which Insight plays the role of a tribesman, or anyone who may not be privy to the modern world. My [Mr. Lif's] role is as the voice of the modern world. At first, Insight is steadfast about his lifestyle, but as he continues to interact with my character, he loses sight of his old values, and way of life. By the end of the song, he is fully converted into the ways of the modern world, and there is no difference between his views and mine. Ultimately, we are both the voice of man's desire to control and conquer all that exists."

The song ends with a nuclear holocaust beginning, which is described sweeping across the globe in the next track, Earthcrusher.

The final song, Post Mortem, are the final thoughts of 4 people as they look into the light of the nuclear blast, played by Mr. Lif, El-P, Jean Grae & Akrobatik. Every verse is stellar, but Jean Grae steals the show. For my money she's the best female MC out there, and I'll let her lyrics back up that statement:

"Convert to atheism/denounce god/pronounce religion dead/faith in nothing/trace my wrist with razors/I refuse to wait for the blaze to erase my spirit/death, faced with it/run to it/not from it/swallow all the pills in the medicine cabinet/chase it with a bottle of 151/hug mommy/head outside to smash windows and trash my hotel lobby/break the grip off/if time allows/I'd finally get to him/I wish I'd done more sin/and got a strap-on, run up in some women/lay in the middle of a highway/wait for pain to hit me/steal a camera/people lootin', screamin'/'come and get me'/find the nearest pawn shop/biggest gun/crowded street/blow my brains to hell/I'm gone/and let the devil come for me"

The last song I wanna talk about is Essiniya (Nass El Ghiwane) by Troupe Majidi. This is off a record called Ecstatic Music of the Jemaa El Fna. Jemaa El Fna is a bustling market in the Moroccan city of Marrakesh, know for its performances by snake charmers, fortune tellers, musicians, etc. Sounds like an awesome place. The record was recorded live by Hisham Mayet, who, according to this Independent article, gave a talk and screened two of his documentaries at The Open Eye Cafe in December '07. Any of y'all go to that? Anyway, the song Essiniya (Nass El Ghiwana) is a great embodiment of the powerfulness of live music. Much of what makes the song so intense is the audience clapping, chanting, and cheering along.

Guy On A Buffalo

That's some well done stock footage-/song-based humor

Blackstar!

The Drunk and On Drugs Happy Funtime Hour!

New show from the boys of Trailer Park Boys! It's really fuckin' weird, so it would be better to view it while drunk and on drugs.

Dirty Dulcet Radio 9/21/11

Back after 3 weeks of problems with recording the show.

The first four songs are from this Packy Axton compilation that came out last week, which is superb. The L.H. & The Memphis Sounds song I link to down there (I'm a fool in love) is good, but the one I couldn't find a streaming link to online is the real gem (house full of rooms). Dunno if this will work for everyone, but when I click the download here link and go to the zshare page, the mp3 file starts playing on the webpage. If that's the case you can listen to house full of rooms that way (or just download the show).

download here

Set List:
1) House Full of Rooms - L.H. & The Memphis Sounds
2) I'm a Fool (In Love) - L.H. & The Memphis Sounds
3) Greasy Pumpkin - The Pac-Keys
4) Hung Over - The Martinis
5) Barry White Messing Up Radio Spots
6) Who Do You Think You're Fooling? (Pts. 1 & 2) - The Symphonic Four
7) Sunday - Sylvia
8) Sunday - The Moments
9) Bulldog Skin - Guided By Voices
10) Insignificance - The Mekons
11) Gut Feeling - Devo
12) Bronx Cheer - Mercury Rev
13) Milk PSA
14) Against All Odds - Meatus Murder
15) Tonight - The Slackers
16) I Like London in the Rain (Edit) - Blossom Dearie
17) The Moving Finger - Dorothy Ashby
18) Late Into the Night - The Battered Ornaments
19) Swimming Ground - Meat Puppets
20) Atmosphere - Funkadelic
21) I Wanna Lose Control - Gary Wilson
22) I Saw It On Oprah - Roosevelt Franklin
23) Tell Me Something Good - Ronnie Laws
24) The Human Tornado (Radio Spot) - Rudy Ray Moore
25) Yo Yo - Rose Royce

80 Blocks From Tiffany's

Check out this documentary about two gangs from the South Bronx in the late '70s.

FUPA Faux Pas

Human Giant - Rob's Vagina
Get More: Human Giant - Rob's Vagina

Yet more complementary rhyme time

Face plate glisten/he got fat, and hate for jakes/Snake Plissken -MF Doom

West district politickin' like Gibson/Makes em pick up and then escape from New York like Snake Plissken/with trees tied to the thighs of down shorties clearin' customs -Tame One

Seven Months of NY Times Photos From Libya

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/world/africa/2011-libya-index.html?ref=africa

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 8/24/11

R.I.P. Nick Ashford

Download the show here

Set List:
1) Na Beira Do Mar - Os Tincoãs
2) Barato Total - Gal Costa
3) United - Music Makers
4) Cherrystones - Eugene McDaniels
5) What Can You Bring Me - Charles Wright
6) Take the Bait - Craig G
7) Ego Trippin' (Part 3 Egoristic Mix) - De La Soul
8) At the Helm - Del tha Funkee Homosapien
9) Breakfast with Blockhead - Blockhead
10) Leaves - Pete Jolly
11) Night Owl - Cliff Edwards
12) Let's Go Get Stoned - Ray Charles
13) Smoke Rings - Sam Cooke
14) We're in Love - Reuben Wilson
15) The Same Old Thing - New Rhythm & Blues Quartet
16) Up On The Sun - Meat Puppets
17) Fearless - Pink Floyd
18) I Want To Be With You - Bonzo Dog Band

Wet Blanket Friday

Every so often I look at what the crazies on Pinterest are doing. I guess with this back to basics/foodie/crafty/I'm so unique movement, people think really hard about how they can out-creative other adults and show off how well they take care of their families.

Sometimes I find neat things, but sometimes I want to pour a bucket of organic puke that I found in a dumpster behind Pier 1 and canned at home one Sunday all over the baby whose ghost costume is actually the tutu its great-grandmother wore at her first dance recital (extra points for upcycling a family heirloom!).

Case in point: celery stamps! Forget about eating the negative calorie snack with your children; no! The best way to "upcycle" a leftover bunch of celery (because you only EVER need one stalk of that awful vegetable) is to put red paint on it and make VALENTINES! YAAAYYYYY!!


Pinner Adri Trollip finds ideas like these "So clever!!!!!"

So, following the pin (because how can you refuse to know the perpetrator of something as silly as celery stamp rose valentines) I arrived at "Homemade Serenity" and I think I found the definition of the current Mom Generation:

Yes, I know that Valentine's Day is a Hallmark Holiday - contrived to convince people to spend money on chocolates and cards and roses and jewelry. Exactly the sort of holiday you would think I would avoid with my need to limit consumerism and commercialism in our home. But I can't help it. I LOVE Valentine's Day.

I'm terrified. When will the next Mom Generation start? I can't be a part of this one.

The Beatles Played in Eleven Baseball Stadiums

Craig's List Friday!

Blaze McAwesome and I just started co-habitating in the official way. We have actual outdoor space now, so I did some searching on the craigslist.org for an outside table and found this gem:

Date Rape Drugs Abound Maybe at Local 506

I've just heard a third story of someone being slipped a mickey at the local 506. That's two more mickey stories than I've heard about any other establishment, so I'm going to say it's a thing. Fortunately all three victims were dudes and it wasn't a rape thing.

But watch your drinks people! If you've been to the local 506 recently to see a show and think you may have been drugged, feel free to share your story.

Clear Blue Skies

One of the most powerful hip hop songs I know is "Clear Blue Skies" by The Juggaknots. It's like Cat Stevens' "Father and Son"... with racism! It is an interchange between a white father and son after the father discovers the son is dating a black girl.

Son:
You sound like such an idiot
I pity it
I wonder, should I laugh or should I cry?
More than anything I want a reason why
All of a sudden the blood in your vein flows with such vigor
Just because you choose to call another person "nigger"

Father:
Well they're just some thugs stealing
Slum-dwellin', drug-dealing, gun-sellin'
And a hundred-yard dashin' after doing purse snatchin'
Damn savages who ravages the buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken
With the first dibs on the ribs
Lookin' like a damn monkey on the football fields and basketball courts
Taking over sports
Leaving us just to golf and to tennis
And they menacing society, the bums
They should go the fuck back to where they came from

Son:
So that's your vision of perfection
That's your clear blue skies
Through those clear blue eyes
Which seems to make you think you're better
But instead of simply sinking to the level of your thinking
I'll be ghost

Father:
Pack your bag, nigger-lover, and good riddance

Soul Music Megamix

A while back palejoe asked me to make him a soul music megamix. I finally got around to it, and it can be downloaded here. Something to listen to on those long train rides around Europe, ya lucky bastard. Hope you brought your iPod.

Track List:

1) I Don't Know How - The Superlatives
2) I Remember When - The Florida Spiritualaires
3) 1900 Yesterday - Betty Everett
4) Heavenly Father - Eula Cooper
5) The Next Ball Game - Inell Young
6) You'll Lose a Good Thing - Barbara Lynn
7) That's You My Love - Johnny Cool
8) Loneliness Is Always Around - Christian Adams
9) I've Got to Find Her - Creations
10) Slipping Around - Thomas East
11) Didn't I? - Dorando
12) Seven Years - The Impressions
13) Gimme a Little Sign - Brenton Wood
14) I'm Your Puppet - Bobby & James Purify
15) What Do You See in Her? - Inell Young
16) I Done Told You Baby - Soul Majestics
17) Four Walls - Eddie Holman
18) Heartaches and Pain - Charles Bradley
19) Until You Were Gone - Leon's Creation
20) A Woman Needs To Be Loved - Tyrone Davis
21) Love Is Blue - Johnny Johnson
22) I Forgot to be Your Lover - William Bell
23) Let's Just Get Together - David Sea
24) Sad, Sad Boy - Don Julian & The Larks
25) Don't Make Me a Storyteller - The Dells
26) Heart Full of Love - The Invincibles
27) A Lifetime - Brothers of Soul
28) To Love Someone (That Don't Love You) - The Kaldirons
29) Such Misery - The Precisions
30) Maybe So, Maybe No - The New Holidays
31) Still Water (Love) - The Four Tops
32) All For the Kids - Frank Turner
33) As Long As I've Got You - The Charmels
34) Reach Out and Touch - The Souls of Unity

Street Musique

Great story about the guy who made this, Ryan Larkin, here.

I'll catch every kid at the sweets shop and rob em

Free Lil' Mac!

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 7/29/11

"Talk about handicapped -- I'm a one-eyed Negro Jew" - Sammy Davis Jr.

"Disguised ourselves as Hasidic Jews and even left our sideburns curly" - Busta Rhymes on 'The Heist'

Hey, it could happen.



No wonder that kid is so nervous. You don't want to start off an interview by looking that lame while missing a jump shot.

download this week's episode here

Set List:

1) The Heist - Busta Rhymes ft. Ghostface Killah, Raekwon & Roc Marciano
2) Interview Snippet (Getting in a Shootout w/ The Delfonics) - Ghostface Killah
3) After the Smoke is Clear - Ghostface Killah ft. The Delfonics, Raekwon & RZA
4) Interview Snippet (See What Happened Was, I Went to Africa One Time...) - Ghostface Killah
5) Nutmeg - Ghostface Killah ft. RZA
6) Kilo - Ghostface Killah ft. Raekwon
7) I Weigh With Kilos - Jimman Van and Richard Heironymus
8) Deep in the Jungle - Blackalicious ft. Latyrx
9) I Did it Like This - Ugly Duckling
10) Happy Belated - J-Live
11) Powers of Nine Ether (Distorted Views of Life) - Scienz of Life
12) Promo No. 2 - Jungle Brothers ft. A Tribe Called Quest
13) Track 08 - ?? (Off Cambodian Rocks)
14) Eastern Outro - Natural Yogurt Band
15) Grab Life by the Balls Bill - Onion News Network
16) There Was - The Naturall Band
17) Theme From Don - DJ Shadow & Dan the Automator
18) Misterio Stereo - Curumin

Friday Internet Roundup

Today, on the internet:

Divers make silly faces!
Yorick De Bruijn of the Netherlands

You can see more silly diver faces here.

Also,

Nerds make your mom jokes!

No, Mr. Jobs, I Expect You to Die

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 7/20/11

Back after a 2-week hiatus! LINKLINKLINK

Set List:
1) Que Mala Suerte La Mia - Los Amaya
2) Mi Swing es Tropical - Quantic & Nickodemus
3) Aquele Um - Djavan
4) Alfomega - Caetano Veloso
5) Vendaval - Osvaldinho Da Cuica E Groupo Vai-Vai
6) Baby (1968 Version) - Os Mutantes
7) Baby - Alice Smith & Aloe Blacc
8) Water No Get 8-Bit Enemy - Fela Kuti/Nick Nielsen
9) Lovers Melt 2 (snippet) - Flying Lotus
10) Ocho Rios - El Michels Affair
11) Shadows on Behalf - The Stepkids
12) Tramp - Lowell Fulson
13) Protect Ya Neck (The Jump Off) - Wu-Tang Clan
14) Full Disclosure - Fugazi
15) Ghetto Afterthought - Wugazi
16) Merry Go Round - Kung Fu Crimewave

Billy Preston would murder me in a dance off

Dead is hip hop's antonym

Who in their right mind/think they can put a stop to hip hop/if it don't stop til I stop/and I don't stop til it stops?

I'll feel that shit for you

Intoxicated Men Take Dead, Flattened Alligator Off-Roading

From the Detroit Free Press

Authorities say three intoxicated men stole a 14-foot flattened and preserved alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and took it off-roading to a mud bogging party.

Linden residents Douglas Earl Ward, 55, and Roy Allen Griffith, 60, along with John Earl Sanborn, 53, of Harrison, are each charged with breaking and entering for allegedly stealing the 14-foot stuffed alligator from a Hartland Township man's barn around the time of a mud bogging party June 25 in Deerfield Township.

They return to Livingston County District Court on July 20 for a preliminary exam, at which a judge will decide whether to send the case to trial.

Sheriff Bob Bezotte said the victim arrived home June 25 to discover tire tracks near his barn. He followed those tire tracks, which he also photographed, to the mud bogging party in the 11000 block of White Road in Deerfield to find his alligator in the back of a Ford F-150 pickup, which one of the suspects borrowed from a Roscommon woman, Bezotte said.

"They had it tied to the roof of the pickup and were mud bogging," the sheriff explained.

The victim took photographs of the truck tires and the three men in the pickup while asking where they got the alligator, which was now in the bed of the pickup.

The men bragged about getting the alligator themselves while in Florida, the victim and witnesses told police.

The victim forwarded the photographs he took as well as filed a theft report with a Livingston County sheriff's deputy, who eventually spoke with one of the suspects.

That person told the deputy that his "friend Douglas Ward" got the alligator and when the deputy asked the speaker his name, he replied, "Douglas Ward," Bezotte said.

Police suspected alcohol played a factor in the alleged theft, and the men were taken to Saint Joseph Mercy Livingston Hospital in Howell for evaluation.

Ward told the court at an earlier hearing that his blood-alcohol content exceeded 0.40, which is five times the state's legal limit if someone were to drive.

Court officials noted Wednesday that Sanborn's BAC — an estimated 0.42 — was so severe he was in a medically induced coma until recently.

Bezotte said a preliminary breath test indicated Griffith's BAC at 0.29.

Meanwhile, Judge L. Suzanne Geddis revoked bond for Ward on Wednesday after learning he had failed to follow the bond rules about testing for alcohol use.

Sanborn's attorney also sought to have his client released from jail, but Geddis denied that request, noting that he "was a threat to the community."

"I'm not drinking again; I swear. I was grieving real bad," Sanborn said without elaborating.

Griffith is free on a $10,000 personal bond.

MURDER PARTY!

School shooting satire is tough to pull off

This is done just as well as any other ONN segment, but it still feels unsettling:


Potential School Shooter Gunned Down By Popular Jock

Similarly:

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 6/29/11

As per request:


download the show here

Set List:
1) Madlib Medicine Show No. 10 Black Soul (Snippet)
2) Computer Love - Zapp and Roger
3) Computer Love - Ghostface Killah
4) Morning Sunrise - Weldon Irvine
5) Dear Summer - Jay-Z
6) Why Pianos Break - Open Mike Eagle ft. P.O.S.
7) Shine - Anti-Pop Consortium
8) Never Dead - MF Doom ft. M. Sayyid
9) Back End - MF Doom
10) Bread and Butter - Ivor Cutler
11) Bread and Butter - Chris and Tad
12) Grits N Corn Bread - Soul Runners
13) I Believe (Our Love Has Gone Away) - The Conspiracy
14) I Don't Want To Do It - John Craig
15) Sad, Sad Boy - Don Julian & The Larks
16) Apula - Madilu System

I Keep One Eye Open Like CBS

From when he was still young and hungry...

Even I don't love alliteration this much

Lee Waters is a local news darling. I saw his smiling face atop the Weekend section in last Friday's News & Observer. Have you ever heard a bartender referred to as a "sip slinger"? What's a "swillster"?

At any rate, Lee is the best bartender around because he says things like "Cheers, Big Ears," and this author is among the worst because she says things like "And when he's not sating palates, smarting or sassing up the social saloon or sucker punching his fellow social stewards and tickling funny bones?".

Why the fuck are spending money on Libya?

"The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation."
- Barry Obama, 12/20/07

I was 9 when I first drove. This kid is way cooler.

"On The Banks Of The Blue Ridge Parkway"

"On The Banks Of The Blue Ridge Parkway"
by Thomas Costello

Summer came
and brought a cloudless simmering pulse.
You went
And took with you
some of the things I needed.

If you look up "hot" in the dictionary
there is a North Carolina summer
burning up the pages
wrinkled with humidity.
It is so hot that everyone leaks sticky drops
that hang suspended in the air
and cling to your skin when you take out the trash.
Everyone pants with their mouths open
so the breeze smells like beer and fruit salad.

At the park
next to our house
chickens listlessly round the bases
waddling like weekend warriors
kicking up boiling infield dust
while outside the fence
the mariachi block party
which is held solely for mariachis and their proud families
is letting loose a blaring polka opus
en español.
And despite the trumpet players' struggle
to grip their instruments with slippery salted hands
or to play with shut eyes to avoid the horns' brassy reflection
the symphony is hailed as a critical success
by the pasty reporter
under an umbrella
eyeing his moles.
The children tend the tamales
whose scent soaks the air
and travels into my window
so that my sweat tastes like chipotle pollen.
I went to rinse it off
but you took the tub.

Out-of-towners might imagine that it is more temperate in the mountains.
I wonder where the hell they got that idea.
By the second week in July
the asphalt melts and
the roads are a swampy petroleum mess.
The Blue Ridge Parkway turns into a tar river.
Everyone builds rafts
out of old doors and empty propane tanks
and every year
on the first Sunday in August
there's a tar-raft regatta.
And every year
for at least the last ten
Sam Simon, a retired Highway Patrolman from Brevard
wins by a long shot.
I had thought about entering
but I remembered that you took the broom
so I just watched from the tar river banks
without an oar
as the old sergeant surfed to another victory
and another year of fitful sleep
under the gaze of the taxidermied squirrel trophy
dreaming of next August.

It was much easier to deal with the heat last year.
We shared summer duties.
I would fill one hundred glasses of water
and put them around the house
so we could always have a drink.
You oiled the fan
which squawked like a mockingbird
with a speech impediment
so that we could sleep.
I pointed a speaker out the window
and played Tumbling Dice
so that the trees would be inspired to grow bigger
and we could fit in the shade.
You shaved the cats.
I made frozen lemonade.
You cut the sleeves off my t-shirts
while I blew on your damp forehead.
And I remember
how you would tuck the sides of your skirt
in the bottom of your underwear
to cool your crispy legs.
I took out the photo box
so I could remember this is a little better
but you had cut out all of the you's
and taken them.
But I still remembered
that you took all the glasses
so I poured myself a bowl of water
used all the fan oil on the clippers
and set to shaving the cats.

Now summer is gone.
I no longer have to swim
through the thick southern air
or smell the collective pant
of tainted slaw.
The mariachi band is on Late Night
(gracias a nuestras madres)
and the chickens are in the tamales.
Most of the rafts were pulled out of the parkway
although some are stuck
left by teenagers or alcoholics
when the pavement cooled
causing some minor traffic accidents for the October leaf gawkers.
The cats are stubbly
and I've managed to sew my sleeves back on
although some of the left ones are missing.
It's made official
when the weatherman has called for the first frost
and as everyone rushes to the store
to buy bread and milk
I think about chopping some wood
when I remember
you took the axe.

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 6/22/11

Jello Biafra in the book "Incredibly Strange Music Vol II" writes:

The most deranged "rich person do-it-yourself" album is All That I Am by KIT REAM, heir to the Nabisco cookie fortune. According to someone who knew him, he dropped tons of acid in the '60's and wound up in a mental hospital where he spent six months staring at his own reflection in a mirror. Eventually the acid wore off, he was deemed "cured" and let loose in society, whereupon he decided to become a guru and make a record. From his maniacal expression you can see that this is a man who has seen it all and knows that he has "the answer". The songs are light beatnik jazz mixed with pseudo-psychedelia; he chants lines like "Don't be so holy, poly, over my soul-y." As far as I know his cult is still vastly outnumbered by Maharaj Ji, Rajnessh and the Moonies.

A half-show this week.

Track List:
1) Don't Be So Holy Poly Over My Souly - Kit Ream
2) Free Son - Yesterday's New Quintet
3) Yellow Fly - Ivor Cutler
4) Unauthorized Audiobiography of Weird Al - MC Paul Barman
5) Bob - Weird Al Yankovic
6) Accordion - Weird Al Yankovic and The Roots
7) Accordion - Madvillain
8) Bubblz - Anti-Pop Consortium
9) As Serious As Your Life (J. Dilla Remix) - Four Tet ft. Guilty Simpson
10) Allahu Akbar - MC Paul Barman
11) Track 03 - Toby Goodshank
12) Bladerunners - Mike Ladd ft. Company Flow
13) I'm a Mormon - Janeen Brady & The Brite Singers
14) Landslide (Remix) - MF Grimm
15) Nighttime School - .357 Lover
16) Melt! - Flying Lotus
17) Yama Yama - Yamasuki
18) Frozen Embryos - Three Guys From Hollywood

 

TRAILER PARK BOYS, LIVE IN GREENSBORO 10/16

The 'Boys have been doing this touring variety show for a while, and they're coming to Greensboro. You can bet your sweet fuckin ass I'll be there.

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles will be there, and who knows, maybe Jim Lahey and Randy will make an appearance.

http://www.zvents.com/z/greensboro-nc/trailer-park-boys-live--events--193894505

Featured Artist @ Jessee's

So, if you've been to Jessee's lately, you've probably noticed the big paintings of a vaguely sci-fi nature with titles like "Biology" and "Ecology". I read the little artist blurb yesterday and saw that they were created by none other than Thomas Konneker of jarofpaperclips fame. Check them out if you haven't yet. I like this one a whole lot.

Don't guess... know (how to lure children into your van)

Just found this track on WFMU's 365 Days Project. I've only scratched the surface of that website, so more awful things to come y'all!!!

Speaking of whence:

Shirk-Ass Shirkoffs Shirk Obligation to Circle Shirk

Come on, people.

I know you didn't all just stop spending all your time on the internet.

Ooh... the helicopter's about to take off. My office is up on the top floor now. It's fucking rad. The helipad is right outside my window.

The Nerf Nuke

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 6/8/11

Get your latest episode of Dirty/Dulcet Radio here folks! And remember, STDs don't make decisions, people do.

Set List:
1) The Almighty Defenders - Cone of Light
2) Death - Keep On Knocking
3) Dungen - Panda
4) Jihad Jerry & the Evildoers - The Time Is Now
5) The Leaders - (It's A) Rat Race
6) Makonde - Manzara
7) Dennis Coffey - Theme From Black Belt Jones
8) The Phenomenal Handclap Band - Baby
9) Mayer Hawthorne - Thin Moon
10) Mayer Hawthorne - A Long Time
11) Sonji Clay - I Can't Wait Until I See My Baby's Face
12) Ricky Lewis and the Afro Band - Welcome Home
13) Johnny Johnson - Love Is Blue
14) The Souls of Unity - Reach Out and Touch
15) Frank Turner - All For the Kids
16) Promise - I'm Not Ready For Love
17) Jack & The Mods - One is Enough for One
18) Patrizia & Jimmy - Trust Your Child Pt. 1
19) Ponderosa Twins Plus One - Bound
20) Marion Black - Who Knows
21) Alvin Robinson - Something You Got
22) Shuggie Otis - Oxford Gray
23) Pure Essence - Third Rock
24) Funkadelic - I Just Got Back
25) Gap Mangione - Diana in the Autumn Wind
26) Toby Goodshank - Pray To You
27) .357 Lover - Sweet Kentucky Girl
28) Bling Kong - A Song I Know
29) The Seventh-day Adventist Church - STDs PSA#1
30) Bishops of the Holy Rollers Fallout Shelter w/ Curtis Colbert - It's Free
31) The Seventh-day Adventist Church - STDs PSA#2
32) Sammy Hall - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Hell (I Got Saved, Saved, Saved)
33) Adult Rodeo - Jesus, He Loves LSD + Me
34) Septima Region - De La Selva Con Furor

Pack of Wolves Kills Horse Near Darby

From The Missoulian

DARBY - Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officials have authorized the killing of up to nine wolves south of Darby after recent attacks on a horse and a calf.

The horse was killed within 200 yards of the Two Feathers Ranch manager's home Thursday night. The ranch is about 1 1/2 miles south of Darby.

"Our favorite horse was killed by a wolf last night," said ranch owner Paul Shirley. "He was always the one who would come up for treats and we could give kids rides on him without any worry."

The quarter horse was named Jack.

"The wolves ran him through a fence and then tore his guts out," Shirley said. "It was terrible. ... These wolves are on our property most nights, and I'm terrified for my animals. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with my livestock."

Rancher manager Jeff Rennaker spent Friday morning alongside a federal government trapper who looked over the kill site and then set four traps around the property.

"We are going to be pretty proactive the next couple of days," Rennaker said. "We're going to have to wait to see what the night brings. I've got 13 horses out there and 160 cattle. I'll be out there most of the night."

FWP wolf biologist Liz Bradley suspects wolves in the Trapper Peak Pack were responsible.

"They were in trouble last year on a different ranch," Bradley said. "We authorized the removal of the pack at that time."

Some of the wolves were killed, but not all.

"It's pretty likely that pack," Bradley said. "We know that they cycle through that area."

Five kill permits were issued to the landowner.

"We're hoping to get it wrapped up as quickly as possible so we don't have any more problems," she said.
The Trapper Peak Pack has frequented the ranch in the past, but Rennaker said they haven't had any losses of livestock up until now.

Rennaker said he's seen wolves in his front yard on a several occasions.

Just across the highway, CB Ranch cattle manager Jeff Snavely said that operation lost a calf about a week ago. The attack also marked the first time that ranching operation had a confirmed wolf kill.

"We've had them on the ranch for a long time," Snavely said. "They have killed elk and deer before, but we've never had any kills on livestock."

Officials authorized the removal of four wolves from the Divide Creek Pack as a result of the depredation.
Last week, a Hamilton man shot a wolf just outside of town after it attacked one of his dogs.

With the amount of snow remaining in the high country, Bradley said wolves and other wildlife are at lower elevations this spring. As the snow begins to melt and wolf pups get bigger, she expects them to start pulling up into higher elevations.

Reporter Perry Backus can be reached at 363-3300 or at pbackus@ravallirepublic.com.

Traitorous Cowards Explain Why They Left UNC

From WRAL

Three former North Carolina Tar Heels-turned-enemies are coming out and talking about some of the more specific reasons they left Chapel Hill.

The twins, David and Travis Wear bolted shortly after the 2009-10 season concluded. Then Larry Drew's far more surprising (and from Tar Heel fans far more unforgivable) exit came in the middle of the ACC season in February, after the second semester had already begun.

Now the trio of UCLA Bruins can sit around and recount their miserable times in Chapel Hill together. All three told the LA Times that the decision to leave wasn't much about lack of playing time. It was more about fan support, a disconnect with the coaching staff and the "Carolina experience" falling short of expectations:

"The energy just wasn't there as in the years prior, it seemed like," said Travis Wear, a 6-foot-10 forward who averaged 3.5 points in 10.1 minutes a game. "It just wasn't that fun of a year."

David Wear described being in Chapel Hill as a culture shock, saying they both missed the friends and family that supported them all along, and that they couldn't count on the fans for that support. Larry Drew shared those thoughts:

"When you're winning, everything's good. When you're losing, it's opposite. Going to a school like that, I was aware of the potential for how things could be. I wasn't aware to the extent."

And some more bits of information that I'm sure will make you love Larry Drew even more....his recent birthday party rap, which was laced with N-words, F-words and blatant shots at Carolina and Roy Williams was justified by Drew as "venting". He said, "I didn't mean it as a diss or anything like that, it was just something I had to get off my chest."

The other surprising thing was this comment from Larry Drew Sr., Drew's father and an NBA head coach with the Hawks, who apparently felt like he and his son were owed something by the Carolina staff when Kendall Marshall was infused into the starting lineup:

"Nothing was said to Larry, nothing was said to me," Drew Sr. said. "That was a little hard to swallow."

Wow. First of all Roy Williams stands by that the move was discussed openly in front of the team before it happened. Second, I didn't know Larry Drew Sr. had to be consulted about roster moves on the Carolina basketball team.

Former big man Deon Thompson even told the Times that Drew and Roy Williams "bumped heads" at times. "He was just a laid-back kid, so it was hard for Coach Williams to light that fire in him at times."
Is the Drew family going for the title of America's least favorite sports family or something?
These three being 3,000 miles away is probably best for Carolina basketball.

And now you know

Too bad I didn't know about this during White Guilt Month.

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 5/25/11

I finally started recording my radio show again after a long spat of being lazy (it takes a little while to convert the file to mp3 format when you're done w/ your show, and I wasn't going in to put the mp3 on a flash drive the next day, so it would get deleted at the end of the week by the station managers). You can download the latest show here, now with 100% more Exercise Songs for Pregnant Women, Obscenities, and mention of sticking your dick in a Kid Cuisine!

Set List:
1) Charles Bradley - Heartaches and Pain
2) Thomas East - Slipping Around
3) Kurt Vile - Freeway
4) Toby Goodshank - Sliver
5) Schwervon! - Balloon
6) Mink Lungs - Blue and Creme Car
7) Meat Puppets - Why?
8) The Vaselines - The Day I Was a Horse
9) Sparklehorse - Mountains
10) T. Rex - Chariot Choogle
11) MHz - Magnetics
12) MHz - World Premier
13) Camu Tao - Open Hands
14) Nighthawks ft. Tame One - The Trailer
15) Camu Tao - Hold the Floor
16) S.A. Smash - Robot
17) S.A. Smash - Illy
18) Outkast - West Savannah
19) Masta Killa - Ringing Bells
20) MC Paul Barman - Props
21) MF Doom ft. Bobbito aka DJ Cucumber Slice - Rhymes Like Dimes
22) The Exercise Record for Pregnant Women - One Hundred Ways (Don't look at Quincy Jones, Quincy Jones ain't gon' help you)
23) David Lynch on the iPhone
24) Melvin Van Peebles - I Remember
25) Huggabroomstik - Shit Moment
26) Lucio Battisti - Mi Ritorni In Mente
27) The Parade - This Old Melody
28) Phil Cordell - Red Lady
29) Drug Rug - For the Rest of Your Life
30) Centro-Matic - Infernoesque Grane
31) Tuttle's Cottage Cheese Theme Song
32) Bernie Green - Mister Peeper's Theme
33) Perrey-Kingsley - Barnyard in Orbit
34) Willie Mitchell - Groovin'

McBain: The Movie

RIP "Macho Man" Randy Savage

1952-2011

I will remember him fondly for his maniacal gusto in the ring, and also for his love of the Slim Jim.

I'd bet he's snapping into one with Jesus as we speak.

Ramble on, brother.

Historical Figure?

Though not quite as good as Susan's depiction of the Donald, this gif is good.

No one else is posting anything, so here's this,,,

Alien Cicadas

Embarrassed by your reading ability?

Worry not, dear friends!
Tyler Hansbrough has teamed up with the Indiana Public Library System to show kids that it's ok to not be able to read good!

To hear Tyler's stunning rendition of Chicken Little, just call (317) 275-4444 (or go here for a tidbit from everyone). But ACT FAST! Who knows when the next stellar reader from the Indiana Pacers will take over the mic!



Also, did you know that we're going to be playing basketball in the ocean for our first game? It's like when Nadal and Federer played tennis in the water except gigantic-er and not as legit.

Guitars are for pussies

Chinese Man Mauled to Death by Tigers

That's it, wrap it up folks

Watch all of this and weep for the world. There are no words.

Except maybe blllluuuuuurrrrrgggghhhhhsshhhhiiiiittttttttt


Also, Unitard if you post a comment saying this isn't so bad I swear I'll go upstairs while you're sleeping and smother you.

two in his heart, one in his computer

Running Freeeeeeee

Old Fashioned Fun

Lol at Greg Abram's film for Guilford's film festival

Reminds me of this:

MTV Human Giant: Old-Fashioned Fun Leak by wiredset

15 Things You Should Know About Caffeine

Via: Homeowners Insurance

I'M THROWING .GIF'S ALL OVER THIS SHIT

JUST TRY TO STOP ME

Kitten Rides Tortoise to Baby Elephant Walk

Don't Let Ignorant People Vote

A fine and thought-provoking article from my man LZ Granderson.


Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- Should ignorant people be allowed to vote?

A provocative question for sure; however, I'm not bringing it up for shock value, but rather to give us all pause.

If I were to ask you to ingest an unknown medicine from someone who knew nothing about the medical field, you probably wouldn't do it. And I doubt many of us would feel comfortable as a shareholder in a company that asked people who knew nothing about business to hire its next CEO?

Yet we all know people who gleefully admit they know nothing about politics, don't have time to find out what the current issues are or even know how the government works, but go out and vote. Want to know why it seems Washington is run by a bunch of idiots? Blame this hiccup in our political system for starters. What's a solution? Weed out some of the ignorant by making people who want to vote first pass a test modeled on the one given to those who want to become citizens.

In an effort to win over ignorant voters, political campaigns are no longer targeting the movable middle as much as the easily misled. Instead of intelligent debates about important topics such as health care reform and cash-strapped states, we have an exchange of easy to remember catchphrases such as "Obamacare" and "War on Unions" -- all in the race to pander to people who can't explain what Congress does.

Or have a firm grasp of how tax dollars are spent.

In a recent CNN poll, more than a third of the people questioned wanted to see cuts in military spending, which is a good debate to have. The problem is the poll also revealed most Americans think the military takes up 30 percent of the budget when in reality it's 19 percent. If we don't know how much money is being spent, how can we intelligently say it's too much? And what to make of the 20 percent of folks polled who believe public broadcasting represents 10 percent of the budget, when it's more like a 10th of 1 percent?

I'm not suggesting someone needs to be a Rhodes scholar to vote.

But voters should at least be able to name the three branches of government. Voters should understand what a "trade deficit" is and how laws are made.

Before getting all bent out of shape by my assertion that you or someone you love is ignorant, please know I am not referring to the dictionary's first definition of the word, which typically means an uneducated or unsophisticated person. I am operating with the second usage, defined as a lack of knowledge in a specific area.

No one is omniscient; we're all ignorant about something.

I know close to nothing about the inner workings of my car, and so I come to my mechanic, ignorant -- but not stupid. As this relates to voting, if people don't know much about current government and politics, they too are ignorant, not necessarily stupid. The difference is that naively paying too much for repairs on a car is not nearly as damaging to foreign policy as a bunch of ignorant voters hitting the polls.

Am I advocating for some sort of elitism?

You betcha.

One of the more counterproductive byproducts of having our political system hijacked by campaigns obsessed with ignorant voters is that the word "elite" has been saddled with terrible PR. True, one boilerplate definition essentially means "rich snobs" but another -- and the one more central to my point -- means the best or most skilled in a group. We don't seem to have a problem understanding the importance of having elite athletes on our favorite sports team, but some of us have been trained to have a gag reflex at the very mention of the country's elite thinkers running the country.

The Founding Fathers were not a bunch of average Joes with gripes about England; they were elite thinkers and philosophers. James Madison attended what is now Princeton. John Hancock went to Harvard. Thomas Jefferson enrolled at the College of William and Mary when he was 16. Today it seems the more education a candidate has, the harder he or she has to work to distance him or herself from it.

So how do we weed out ignorant voters without harking back to the days of poll taxes and Jim Crow? I would start by making the U.S. Naturalization Test -- given to immigrants who want to become citizens -- part of the voter registration process.

If knowing the number of years a senator is elected to serve is required of anyone who wants to become a U.S. citizen, is it too much to expect that information to be common knowledge for those of us who already are? This has nothing to do with who a person is or how they may vote but everything to do with a person voting as an informed citizen, not a sound bite regurgitator. Having a grasp of current events would be ideal, but if we could at least raise the required investment to engage in the political system, perhaps the tone of the rhetoric surrounding it can be elevated as well.

We wouldn't issue a driver's license to someone unable to pass the written test, knowing the potential damage that person could do behind the wheel. Why do we look at voting differently?

While the Constitution lists the reasons why a citizen cannot be denied the right to vote, it does not explicitly say it is a federal right. This is why felon disenfranchisement and mental competency laws, as they pertain to voting, vary from state to state.

I'm not suggesting we kick people out of the political process, only that we require them to have an agreed upon understanding of what that process is. If people are too busy to read up on the government, the Department of Homeland Security is not going to escort them out of the country -- or take away away their citizenship. At any point in which ignorant voters are fed up with being on the outside looking in, they can go to the post office, pick up a brochure with all of the questions and answers in it, and study free of charge.

Sounds harsh?

It is.

But at this crucial juncture with at least two wars, a budding energy crisis, a growing trade deficit, etc., do we really have the luxury of hand-holding? There simply needs to be more required of us as responsible voters than being born 18 years ago. Perhaps if we weed out the ignorant voters, politicians will no longer feel the need to dumb down the conversation in hopes of getting their attention.

And then if we're really lucky, maybe the ignorant politicians will go away as well.

At least one can dream.


Editor's note: LZ Granderson writes a weekly column for CNN.com. A senior writer and columnist for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com, he has contributed to ESPN's "Sports Center," "Outside the Lines" and "First Take." He is a 2011 and 2010 nominee and the 2009 winner of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation award for online journalism and a 2010 and 2008 honoree of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for column writing. Watch Granderson on "CNN Newsroom" at 9 a.m. ET Tuesday.

Dirty/Dulcet Radio 4/6/11

I'll be posting my radio show each week here so various friends can download it. This one featured our very own palejoe as my co-host.

download here

Set List:
1) Can You Get To That - Funkadelic
2) Divorce - MC Paul Barman (you can't ban gay marriage, marriage is gay)
3) I Love Her, She Loves Me - NRBQ
4) A Woman Needs To Be Loved - Tyrone Davis
5) Pootie Tang Snippet
6) Find You Out - RJD2
7) Hiding (Quantic Soul Orchestra Remix) - Breakestra
8) What Do You See In Her? - Inell Young
9) I Forgot To Be Your Lover - William Bell

10) You'll Lose A Good Thing - Barbara Lynn
11) A Lifetime - Brothers of Soul
12) I Done Told You Baby - Soul Majestics
13) Heavenly Father - Eula Cooper
14) 1900 Yesterday - Betty Everett
15) The Next Ball Game - Inell Young
16) Tonight Is The Night - Betty Wright
17) Douga - Quintette Guineenne
18) Twist With The Morning Stars - S.E. Rogie
19) Agatha - African Brothers Band
20) African Mystery - ???
21) Zadie Bobo - Ernesto Djedje
22) Les Djos - T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rhythmo
23) Aynotche Terabu - Mahmoud Ahmed
24) African Pop Sensation - Manu Dibango
25) Hokoyo - Thomas Mapfumo
26) Message To Africa - Leo Fadaka & The Heroes
27) No Agreement - Fela Kuti

Ty Lawson drained 10 threes in a row saturday night

The Wealthiest Americans of All-Time

Mint.com

Tar Heels playing some pickup at Cobb

Looks like Reggie's rehabbing that knee well.

Sportsball Update!

Good news, friends! Especially Seth!

John Henson and Tyler Zeller have decided to come back to us next year! No word on Harrison yet, but the word on the street is he'll be back.


UPDATE: The deal gets sweeter: Kyrie Irving is going pro, after playing just 11 games in his collegiate career. Want some cheese with that, Coach? Of course you do.

Help Wanted

Fellow Shirkers,

This Saturday (April 9th) I will get that horrible banshee of the MCAT out of the way. Come celebrate that with me! A keg from Carolina Brewery will be in attendance. I'll be needing some help drinking that. It'll be at my place, conveniently located a short walking distance from Rach's, and Blaze's and jtan's. This'll start around 5 PM. BWA BWA BWA!!!!!

Whew!

Thank god all that sportsball nonsense is over with. People were really getting amped up over that shit for some reason.

Dog Catching Days of Summer

A dirty funk track by The Mighty Dogcatchers. Is dog catching still a profession for enterprising youth on their summer vacations? I wish me and a friend or two had had the entrepreneurial spirit and guts to do it when I was younger. I first became aware of it from William Wharton's excellent novel, Birdy. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend doing so, and I have a copy that any of y'all can borrow at my place.

Birdy tells the story of two boys, Al and Birdy, growing up in the suburbs of Philadelphia just prior to WWII. Al, an Italian-American kid obsessed with lifting weights and chasing girls, finds an interest in Birdy, an odd boy who is enamored with mechanical engineering and raising birds. They get in all sorts of adventures as kids, including one summer where they work as dog catchers. The novel is actually set around 1945 or so, after Al and Birdy have been to war. Birdy has been committed to a mental hospital because he has become delusional and begun acting and speaking only like a bird. Al is brought in to try and bring him back to reality, which he attempts by recalling their boyhood adventures to Birdy.

It's also the novel that taught me that you can use "bird" as slang for your dick. I was quite satisfied when I started watching Trailer Park Boys and realized that Bubbles uses the same term to refer to dongs.

News-Anchor-Robot-Virus? Satan? Teleprompter- Mischief ? You Decide

A wave of bizarre on-air behavior has been sweeping news-anchor community with anchors spontaniously spouting gibberish on teevee.

The latest episode happened in Wisconsin recently:



Did she just say exorcist?!?!

And then, there was this from a while back:



And this is just funny: