Top 10 NBA Dunks of The Decade 2010 *New Must See* HD

The gif that keeps on giffing

See My Dong

Everyone I meet will be getting texts and tweets of my dong.

United Cooks!

My brother used to collect flags in the way that my grandmother bought him one once and continued to buy different ones for him. I collected dolls in this same way.
Now, I'm sure my brother knew where most of his flags came from or what nation they represented, but this kid totally kicks his ass in several categories:
1) accent
2)flag naming
3)obscurity factor (Antigua, Guinea, Macedonia?)



Know your geography, kids. Then learn the flags. Then be on my team for trivia.

To Whom it May Concern

I am enjoying the blog's newer, more polished look. Hats off to you, architect!

“It’s not about sharing. You know, it’s about everybody having their own spotlight.”

"LeBron James didn’t kill anybody. He didn’t drive drunk, or beat his spouse, or break a contract. He simply exposed the fraudulent nature of the bond between fans and modern athletes. We like to pretend athletes care at least a little bit about the people who cheer them, but LeBron made it clear that he cared for nothing beyond himself. He believed his own press — that he was loyal, that he was humble, that this was the natural thing to do. It was as if he existed in a separate reality. That so many current players endorsed The Decision only amplified the point.

It was dubbed The Championship of Me, and that was about right. Given the way the culture is going, we shouldn’t have been appalled, really. But in a way, it’s nice to know that’s still possible."

Read more: http://sports.nationalpost.com/2010/12/27/2010-in-sport-lebrons-distasteful-decision/#ixzz19QacZMnI

I laughed at this. A lot.

Christmas loot comparison post !

Welcome back from the holidays shirkers. I hope everyone survived their annual visit from Krampus and has returned or will soon return safely.

But enough of that nonsense. Let's get down to the thick of it and talk about the awesome stuff we got on "Do The Exact Opposite of what Jesus Told Us to Do Day".

You can post your loot in the comments section or just edit this post, whatever moves you. I will begin...

This is now the 24th year in a row that my parents didn't love me enough to get me a shotgun or a go-cart. They DID; however, get Sam, Joe and jtan, and me the greatest socks on god's green earth - Smartwool PhD.



I got some other stuff too, including an off-off-brand snuggie from Unitard and a girlfriend but these socks are something else buddy, I'll tell you what...

Laws of physics need not apply to free throws

Put it in your eggnog

Merry Christmas Y'all!!!

Santa's on a Diet - Zoogz Rift

Good King Wenceslas - Butthole Surfers

12 Days of Christmas - Lucky Luck

St. Ides Commercial - Ice Cube

Find more artists like Envelopes at Myspace Music

Holiday Travel Tips

If you're traveling this Christmas and you're unsure of where your toilet paper goes once used, have no fear.

http://www.wheredoiputthepaper.com/

Introducing Word Lens

A Holiday Message from Ricky Gervais: Why I’m An Atheist

From his Wall Street Journal Editorial:


"Wow. No God. If mum had lied to me about God, had she also lied to me about Santa? Yes, of course, but who cares? The gifts kept coming. And so did the gifts of my new found atheism. The gifts of truth, science, nature. The real beauty of this world. I learned of evolution – a theory so simple that only England’s greatest genius could have come up with it. Evolution of plants, animals and us – with imagination, free will, love, humor. I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer and pizza are all good enough reasons for living.

But living an honest life – for that you need the truth. That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.

So what does the question “Why don’t you believe in God?” really mean. I think when someone asks that; they are really questioning their own belief. In a way they are asking “what makes you so special? “How come you weren’t brainwashed with the rest of us?” “How dare you say I’m a fool and I’m not going to heaven, f— you!” Let’s be honest, if one person believed in God he would be considered pretty strange. But because it’s a very popular view it’s accepted. And why is it such a popular view? That’s obvious. It’s an attractive proposition. Believe in me and live forever. Again if it was just a case of spirituality this would be fine. “Do unto others…” is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. Buts that’s exactly what it is -­‐ a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell.”

You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway."

Some more Ricky Gervais for y'all

O Captain My Captain!

Rest in peace Captain Beefheart

I learned about it from the AV club, who have a nice obit of him.

Who said the typewriter was only good for recreating the 60s on TV?

Most people. But this is pretty neat-o. I can't even sit down long enough to finish a cross stitch commemorating the birth of my nephew. She probably spent hours debating whether the regular parenthesis was better than this thing {.

more pictures

--fart is short, life is long--

so, i watched this badass double interview recently.  both are by charlie rose of pbs fame and both are AMAZING.  Artists Chuck Close and Robert Rauschenberg are each great inspirations to me as an artists, but also very amazing people to hear speak....hope y'all like 'em.





there is an equally good but somewhat slower interview with brice marden as well.  click here for that.

Defending "Darkie" Soap

The thing about racism in Indiana is, well, it's different. You see, there are places you can live in Indiana and go weeks, months, years, even your whole life without ever seeing a black person.

This is why it's funny when Indiana racists are accused of racism, because they're surprised. This guy really doesn't understand what's wrong with his line of hilarious racist soaps. He especially doesn't understand why this white reporter lady is so upset by them. He thinks he's under fire for not being politically correct, which is a phrase he heard in the 90's and still doesn't understand.

Anyway, these are the kinds of people I grew up around.

Enjoy.

P.S. Fuck you Fox 59. Fuck you and your shitty weak transmitter. You were my only possibility for watching the Simpsons, yet I could never quite move the antenna enough to make you watchable. Fuck you, you blurry asshole.

Christmas Play Camel Fail

Joe Pass - A time for us

Filibuster

Yay Bernie Sanders! My man. Fuck tax cuts for the rich.

FUCK YES JESSE

If you missed it last night, here's a clip of Phosphorescent playing on last night's Late Show with David Letterman. This is easily the coolest thing that I've seen all year. So proud of Jesse and all the boys right now. Enjoy.

Sailing round the world in a dirty gondola

Once again here I am to sing the praises of Jody Hill's musical selections. My first post here was about how great I find the music of Eastbound & Down, and now I'm doing the same for Hill's excellent dark comedy Observe and Report. A more ribald commenter might tell me to "hop off his dick" but... I just beat you to it, so kiss off. There's a youtube channel with most of the soundtrack, and here's a megaupload of my favorite tracks from it.

Tracklist:
1) When I Paint My Masterpiece - The Band
2) The Man - Patto
3) Lightsaber Cocksucking Blues - Mclusky
4) Sittin' Back Easy - Patto
5) Brain - The Action
6) Over Under Sideways Down - The Yardbirds
7) Where Is My Mind? - City Wolf (Apparently a Chapel Hill band. They didn't really fuck with the original at all for this, and it turned out pretty good)
8) Observe and Report Suite - Joseph Stevens

It's That Time Again

For Wacky Taiwanese CG News clips

18 Famous Websites As Understood by a 5-Year-Old

From cracked.com

The internet must be a pretty confusing place to a five-year-old. Hell, it's confusing enough to those of us who actually know what's going on. We asked you to show us what a confused child might think, or in some cases know, is out there before they're corrupted by reality.

The winner is below, but first the runners up ...


#18.

by Dr.Macaroni

#17.

by Agent Spiff

#16.

by lalaleon

#15.

by Butt_Sexington

#14.

by mc_poopypants

#13.

by maluba

#12.

by ElDoceHombre

#11.

by AgentCoop

#10.

by life.exe

#9.

by AgentCoop

#8.

by kirbyisrad

#7.

by NovemberGraye

#6.

by KTope

#5.

by justagirl

#4.

by Aflac

#3.

by TheoSchmeeo

#2.

by Rohan Ramakrishnan

And the winner is ...

Congrats, Vonx. You win money.

by Vonx

Ed MacMahon will not host your birthday party at Mcdonalds

This Mr. Haberny is hilarious. I revisited the Cash4Gold Superbowl ad featuring Ed MacMahon, and remembered that homeboy goes: "BOOM!" Not just to make his point... but while pointing at a golden cannon! Now that's salesmanship.

Cash4Gold - MC Hammer & Ed MacMahon @ Yahoo! Video

Worst rap....or best rap?

I was relieved a little early for my lunch break today, so I caught the tail end of WKNC's Local Lunch, and boy did I find a gem. You could say I'm not very up on the local hip-hop scene. I only know about Endless Mic (because I know them) and Mosadi Music (because Blaze and jtan's band will be covering them at the rescheduled Band Swap Night 3).

But, LET ME TELL YOU that I was mostly put off by the following chorus by locals Kooley High:

"The sun never goes down when I rhyme/ cuz this is eastern standard time"

In a recent study, 2 out of 2 participants asked if these lyrics corresponded to Sesame Street.

The "emcees" go on to say

"3 hours in front of LA, 24 behind a new day"

and

"Just pause for a second/ because our record/ make y'all wanna slide like a card on credit"

They even fit in a reference to Bobby Boucher!

I need to know: is the current trend in popular music, ie. leaving out the rock and bringing in twee folky tunes about nice, innocuous and/or silly things, infiltrating even the hip-hop sphere?

Back in the day (circa 2000) when my friend Tim tried to make me appreciate rap music, lyrics were a little deeper, less obvious, more intense. Case in point, "Twisted Heat" featuring Drag-On and Twista: "Cuz the only mother fuckin' magazine that I read/ is the one I buy my guns from/ How many bullets you could digest in that one stomach/ I suggest y'all run from it". Full lyrics here (though slightly inaccurate).

Twista and Drag On - Twisted Heat - MyVideo Österreich

So honestly, am I to believe that Kooley High is as good as all the press says (wicked word play?), or are they just the new hipster "I-like-rap-when-it-is-intellectually-punny-and-only-chummily-combative" darlings?

Fuck you if you don't like Christmas

Negroes on Ice

My favorite producer Prince Paul and his son, P. Forreal, collectively known as "Negroes on Ice" just finished their album! They are performing a "stunning narrative/musical cavalcade" (I'm guessing a live variety show type thing) to celebrate in NYC starting Dec. 22nd. Why am I moving to Chapel Hill again? You can check out old episodes of their show on UstreamTV right nyuhh.

Also, lolercaust:

Tis the season for drunk, pissing, stumbling Santa

Wikileaks is hosted on servers housed inside a fortress carved out of mountain in Sweden. Seriously.

If you're going to reveal a quarter of a million diplomatic cables that one of the most powerful governments in the world doesn't want you to reveal, you're gonna need secure servers. Bahnhof AB, a firm that offers hosting on its servers, is housed in a former bomb bunker drilled into the White Mountains of Sweden.

Wikileaks was hosted by Bahnhof when it began publishing the cables. When Wikileaks was felled by a denial of service attack, it briefly moved to Amazon's cloud servers before it got booted off. Now, it's back on Bahnhof and back in the mountains.

Here, some photos of Bahnhof's mountain lair, courtesy of its web site.

via Talking Points Memo see also Julian Assange is a Bond Villain on the Right Side of History.

Friday Finds

HEY JTAN! Here's your future cinematographer!

And, here's a weird video with even weirder commentary that makes you feel like a bad person:



TGIF everyone!

My kind of ladies, bloomers and all

Unemployed Chimney Sweeps for the United States of America PAC

Americans for America. The New Century Foundation for Progress. A Bright Future for Children and Families. PAC names are a genre unto themselves. A proud, optimistic, vapid genre that's designed to sound so much like apple pie that you never think to look at the filling -- or, to be less metaphorical, the money. The Sunlight Foundation decided to have some fun with this and set up a PAC-name generator. Some of these PACs are the real deal, but most are just perfect PAC names waiting to find a home. - Ezra Klein

It's a secret

Wouldn't you like to know...

Let's trade knowledge and make that shit fade

Steph Curry half-court alley oop!

Did I just blow your mind?

Or what?

6 Animals That Just Don't Give a Fuck

From Cracked.com

By Danny Vittore Nov 30, 2010 121,045 views

Some animals are boring, and that's fine: They're all gathering nuts or looking for mates or marking territory or some stupid shit. Hey, you know, whatever floats your boat, squirrel. We prefer the animals that just straight don't give a fuck: the ones that punch sharks in the dick, ghost-ride somebody else's whip, beer-bong tequila and look you dead in the eye while plowing your girlfriend. Animals like:  #6.  Mongoose It's common knowledge that the mongoose and the snake are mortal enemies. And you'd think that statement is one-sided: On the one hand, you've got the very emblem of evil and sin -- a scaled, wriggling tube of poison, fangs and death. On the other hand you've got what looks like a cross between a rat and Prince Charles. If they allowed bets on interspecies rivalries, we'd lay our money square on the snake, every time. And we would lose that money, for one very simple reason: because the mongoose isn't fighting snakes for food, or for territory, or for survival -- it's fighting snakes because fuck snakes. That's seriously the reason why: Occasionally you will see a mongoose eating the meat from a defeated snake, but as a general rule, they prefer to avoid it. Yet they still actively seek out and hunt snakes, oftentimes ones larger than themselves. Some species of mongoose have even been known to fight king cobras, a snake so badass it literally eats other, lesser snakes for breakfast. The iconography of the king cobra inundates our culture, and from Commander to Kai, it is always used to intimidate. The hood, the hypnotic weaving, the forked tongue -- every visual aspect of the king cobra screams rotten death and fear. And then along comes this doofy hillbilly weasel, which proceeds to murder the shit out of the living embodiment of terror just because there's nothing better to do that day. #5.  Pen-Tailed Tree Shrew Aww, aren't they just darling? The tree shrew looks like a real-life anime character, all big, round eyes, adorable little paws and tiny mouth. If that thing spoke, it would have the squeaky voice of a preteen Japanese girl, and it would teach jaded sword-wielding teenagers the importance of nature through its precocious antics. "Listen! Cocklebur can be fatal if fed to livestock!" But the pen-tailed tree shrew isn't all cuteness and innocence. It's on this list because it eats only one thing: The fermented nectar from the bertam palm plant of Malaysia. This nectar is naturally fermented inside the plant to have an alcohol content of around 3.8 percent, roughly equivalent to one (cheap) human beer. Now, these shrews aren't the only animals on Earth that drink alcohol -- bats, birds, monkeys and many other creatures drink on occasion -- but we meant it literally when we said they consume only one thing: booze. That is their sole sustenance. They do nothing but get blasted, every hour of every day of every year of their lives. These guys spend an average of two hours a day doing nothing but drinking the bertam liquor, an amount roughly equivalent to about 10 to 12 glasses of wine for a human, all in one sitting. The Kennedys of the wild. So yes, it might look like it's about to do a series of tiny cartwheels while singing you a little song about where rainbows come from, but if it did, it would probably vomit on your pants afterward and then take a swing at you for "judging it with your eyes." #4. Wolverine This one should come as no surprise to anybody: They didn't name the comic book character after the wolverine because he's often found on the tundra and scent-marks his territory (although it might make for a better comic book if he did). It's because the damn things are vicious. But most of us have never seen an actual wolverine, so that picture up there comes as somewhat of a surprise. Look how cute he is! Then there's this: And it's like watching a baby unhinge its jaw to swallow a kitten whole; the cuteness all instantly perverts into horror. So you know that the wolverine is somehow associated with berserker rage, and that it can transform from a cuddle machine into a threshing maw of horror in an instant. It's a psychopath, you get that. What you might not be getting, however, is the sheer scale of its madness: That berserker rage is not selective to animals its own size, animals it can realistically take, animals it wants to eat or animals that pose any direct threat to it. No, the wolverine will attack and eat everything from small rodents to arctic foxes to deer, musk ox and even bears. Wait ... what? The fuck can that thing take on a bear? The sheer size difference makes it impossible. Are we cheaping out here and counting one-sided fights where bears corner and devour wolverines while the tiny animals haplessly gnaw on the giant predator's ankles? Nope: Wolverines will actively stalk and attack larger predators by hiding on top of rocky outcrops or in trees, then leaping off onto their backs, biting, chewing, mauling and stomping on their spines like a backpack capable of hate. But don't take our word for it -- witness all the random spite of nature firsthand:

#3.  Tasmanian Devil

The Tasmanian devil is nearly identical to the wolverine in pop culture: We know that they're smallish mammals known for their viciousness and fury. And, once again, we see that they are substantially more wuvable than we've been led to believe -- just look at that little guy! Is he wearing a wee cardigan? How precious! We'll call him Trevor and pretend he enjoys tennis!

And then again, just like the wolverine, the Tasmanian devil has to go and ruin the snuggle-fest by opening its mouth and turning into the fucking Sarlacc.

But we're not here to repeat ourselves. The devil isn't here for its fighting ability; it's here because it eats literally everything: It devours its kills whole, bones, fur and all. Here are some other things that have been found in Tasmanian devil poo: pencils, plastic, collars, tags of devoured pets, echidnas -- spikes and all -- and blue jeans. The only logical conclusion, on that last one, being that it either ate the pants off of one very terrified Tasmanite, or it ate everything but the shirt off of one very dead Tasmanite. Tasmanian devils even bite through metal traps, and not because they're stuck in them. Just fucking because.

Some people keep Tasmanian devils on them at all times for occasions like this.

"What is this, some kind of steel blade? Looks delicious," says the Tasmanian devil. "Don't mind if I do."
Once they do tuck in to a meal, they can eat anywhere between five percent to 40 percent of their body weight in one sitting, after which they are too bloated and tired to move, so they just go to sleep -- with complete disregard for their surroundings. That is how few fucks the Tasmanian devil will give: If you're standing there, helplessly watching while a Tasmanian devil eats your kid brother, it absolutely will not stop ... until it's full. Then it will lie down and take a nap immediately after, even with you still right there, screaming.
It might ask you to keep it down, but that is the extent of its concern with you.

#2.   Cane Toad

In the study of animals, there's something called Davian behavior, which is just the polite way Science says "animal necrophilia." But this behavior is often a mistake -- some dumb, horny animal not realizing that hot piece of tail is more lukewarm, and literally just a tail. The behavior is rarely ever habitual, and even more rarely intentional.

They have no boundaries

And then there's the cane toad: Not only will they regularly have sex with dead bodies, but they'll even make sweet love to corpses outside of their species. Not just different types of frog, mind you, but animals that in no way could ever be mistaken as a former cane toad: Snakes, lizards, small mammals -- the cane toad is a firm believer in the "hole is a hole" attitude, and an even firmer believer in the "if there's no hole, just make one with your boner" attitude. There has been at least one recorded attempt of a cane toad to mate with a long-deceased female that had been completely flattened by a car ... for eight straight hours!

In conclusion, here's a cane toad raping a dead salamander. You're welcome.

#1.  Honey Badger

Let's do the wolverine-style breakdown again. Pictured above: Snuggles incarnate. We'd name him George Clooney and feed him a diet of peanut butter and hugs.

Now, murder from concentrate:

Oh, and hugging is a bad idea; they attack the testicles first. That's just how the honey badger rolls. Here are other ways the honey badger rolls:

 

In that one, short video, you can see a honey badger chasing a leopard away and climbing a tree just to attack a cobra -- presumably because it looked at him funny. But the perfect example of the honey badger's inability to give one hot shit comes around 2:15 into the video: One particular honey badger got hungry, so he went to find a nice meal. Now, he could snuffle around in the dirt all night, looking for the safest food source, but that sounds hard, and it might take a while. So instead, he opts to piss all over the very concept of survival instincts, and just eats the first damn thing he comes across. Unfortunately, it happens to be a puff adder -- one of the deadliest snakes in the world.

The badger stumbles across the snake midway through its own meal, so what's a badger to do? Why, steal the food straight from the death-serpent's jaws, of course, and then sit down to eat the snake's stolen meal right in front of him, while he furiously spits and hisses. When the badger finishes the snake's dinner, he's still a bit peckish, so he walks right over to the still-furious snake and mauls it to death, sustaining multiple bites in the process. Ignoring the deadly poison coursing through his veins, the badger settles in and starts eating the puff Aadder. Tragically, a few minutes later, he collapses.

And so ends the story of this honey badger, who died as he lived, spitting in the face of mortalit- what's that? He's back up? Holy shit! Two hours pass, and the badger miraculously resurrects himself from apparent death! He's been given a second chance at life! A second chance to ...
Go right back and continue eating that snake.

Danny Vittore is a freelance writer. When he isn't writing, he is found sitting at his desk twiddling his thumbs waiting for his next writing job. If you feel the need to contact him for whatever reason you deem necessary, his email address is: dannyvittore@gmail.com